Sex is fun and all, but it can involve some not-so-cool surprises at times. Reddit useru/kingbeezorhighlighted the worst parts of doing the beast with two backs by asking thequestion, "What are the 'not so fun' parts of sex that no one talks about?" Here are some of the funniest (and most painfully relatable) responses:
1.“不得不突然停止，因为当您的男朋友试图打你的屁股时，他不小心打了他的坚果。”
2."When the dong slips out."
3."If you're like me, you sweat fairly easily, so being on top means I'm dripping from my face, and usually it's landing in or around my girlfriend's eyes and mouth. We've often talked about a sweatband, but I'm not sure if it would increase passion or cause laughter."
4."Taking a little too long to finish and then feeling embarrassed...and the more you think about it, the harder it is."
5."I was performing oral sex on my boyfriend and my jaw dislocated! I had to walk to the hospital alone because he was too stoned to go with me. About two years later, the same thing happened with the same BF. This time he was sober and drove me to the ER."
6."When men finish early while wearing a condom, but for some reason either try to continue on despite being totally soft or don’t pull out in a timely manner, or don’t secure the condom while pulling out. Yeah...this results in the condom being left behind, gentlemen. At the very least, let your partner know?"
7."I will get a rash when I have sex sometimes. Also, sometimes when I’m giving a woman oral, I’ll literally salivate so much that when I come back up to kiss her, it’s as if she's kissing a slimy water fountain. Sorry, ladies."
8."Whenever my S.O. and I have sex and it's dark, we end up squirting out waaay too much lube on our hands and then have to try to get a towel before it drips all over the floor."
9."A bed that makes more noise than the person you’re having sex with."
10。"When everything isn't wet yet and they try to jam their penis into your vagina, and the labia goes along for a very dry, painful ride."
11."The AutoZone smell after doing it with a condom on."
12.“不得不将不会下床的宠物推开，只是坐在那里盯着你。”
13."Getting fingered by someone who did not cut their fingernails."
14."The fart noises that your bodies make when you're doing it."
15."When she bounces a little too hard on top, and you slip out and get crushed."
16."Trying to gracefully avoid touching other bodily areas with the butt finger."
17."Hitting the cervix is a special kind of hell. A stabbing feeling that’s deeply unsexy."
18."The waddle to the bathroom afterward with one hand cupped over your vag."
19.And finally, "When he gets up to get you a towel, and you hear his car start and he pulls out of the driveway."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for grammar, length, and/or clarity.